Kids Running The Show

read this blog post by Walt Mueller of CPYU.org.  His comments from Dr. Leonard Sax’s new book are quite challenging and indicative of the culture and a whole.

 

Messed-Up Parenting. . . and What Might Be My “Book of the Year”. . .

The Bad side of Cyber, and how to help

Here is a helpful info-graphic on the bad side of the cyber world.  As you look it over, ask God to give you insight into how your child uses the internet as well as what you can do to help them be good stewards of that privilege.

 

Teen Cyber-Security. . . A Helpful Infographic To Share With Parents

A Warning Against Coddling

Walt Mueller of the Center for Parent and Youth Understanding is a wise man.  Listen to this 60 second sound bite in which he gives a warning against coddling our kids and the possible long-term effects it is causing:

http://www.cpyu.org/resource/college-students-and-anxiety/

Be wise, patient, and loving.  Try to communicate love and encouragement while pointing your kids to Christ, not to themselves.  Discipline them when they need it, stand up for them when they need it, and provide conversation about the good and bad in life.  We want to see you kids grow up into life-long disciples of Christ, and that takes long-term vision.  What causes grief now might instill confidence later.

Matt

Liar, Liar…Pants on Fire

I remember being exceptionally adept at lying when I was young.  I think my peak performances were in my younger teenage years…maybe around ages 12-16.  Whether I lied about being sick to get out of school, the homework assignment I “did,” or the leftover pizza that went missing over night, I lied a lot and my parents didn’t seem to be catching on.

Looking back, most of my lies were out of self-interest – in order to get what i wanted or to get out of trouble.  I don’t remember lying for fun or mischief.  It seems innocent enough – sure, what kid doesn’t lie to keep from getting grounded?  However, when my son was born, the effects of my lying days rippled through time and struck me when I wasn’t expecting it.  Yes, I was self-interested as a teen…but I was never really cured of that habit and mindset.  Caring for Jack was a punch in the gut – my selfishness was highlighted in bright, bold color for me and the whole world to see.  My selfish endeavors as a kid created a pattern of selfishness that I never really broke, or even realized I had, until it was time to put someone else first (my wife may have noticed long before I did).

Here’s an article with some research about teens and lying:

http://www.iol.co.za/lifestyle/people/teens-tell-the-most-lies-study-1.1894584#.VdMu6SxVikp

Lying is never cute.  It is never acceptable.  We can expect it from young people, but we should encourage open environments, integrity, and love for one another.  Lying is selfish.  The gospel is self-sacrificing.  I challenge all of us, especially myself, to model and teach this to our kids.

Matt

Friendship Turnover

I want to say this is a newer rhythm in adolescent life.  Of course, I am still close with many of the friends i made in middle and high school.  However, as I think about it, I only have one close friendship still maintained from 5th grade, a couple from 6th-8th, and a few from high school.  So, am I an outlier, am I misrembering my teenage years, or is this new social media world contributing to friendship turnover?

This article speaks about research concerning teenage friendships:

http://scienceblog.com/79357/adolescent-friendship-study-confirms-birds-feather-flock-stay-together/#yYFFptxmOXZymkmy.97

Stability is important.  With the ever changing social landscape of the teenager – in friendships, media, sports – we must find places for stable expectation and experience.  Make your home a place of love and comfort, to provide respite from the crazy world of your teenager.  But most importantly, speak and live the gospel to your teenager.  Show them there is an unchanging God who loves them enough to have come and die for them.  This truth is truly everlasting, stable, and comforting.

Matt

Be a Mean Parent

OK, the title of this post is a little misleading.  Don’t take me the wrong way.  I’m not advocating being an ACTUAL mean or bad parent.  However, I know all parents have been accused of being “mean” by their kids.  Example:  Parent – “no, you can’t have ice cream for dinner.”  Child – “you’re so mean!”

It’s time to END the entitlement culture of the upcoming generation.  Parents, it starts with you.  Read the article below.  Yes, it focuses on the practical steps to helping kids become grateful instead of entitled…but it isn’t just our actions towards our kids, but our own attitudes and words.

numbers 4 and 5 are particularly poignant.

http://www.howdoesshe.com/how-mean-parents-raise-grateful-kids-5-things-to-stop-doing/

For Christians, we have been given every good gift in Jesus.  He is enough.   I don’t mean that when we follow Christ we get abundance.  I mean that when we follow Christ WE GET CHRIST!  And that is all we need.

Matt